Through the Cracks of the Wall
by Lucicelo
Summary: Ruka learned to shield her little brother from their mother's occupation.


_A/N:_ _This popped into my mind while I was working on another installment of the Guardian!Ruka series. Kasumi (Mama Tsuzuki) took up prostitution after money ran out when her husband died. Asato was born during a tryst with a friend of her late husband. Ruka ends up raising Tsuzuki because Kasumi neglected him from the start.  
_

* * *

Every once in awhile, Ruka glanced at Asato during his writing practice. As she finished sewing Asato's new yukata, she tried not to giggle at his concentrated face. Asato stuck out his tongue while holding a brush in his hand and wrote down the characters on the parchment. Droplets of ink plopped onto the table, staining the old battered wood. Without candles or oil lamps, they used the remaining sunlight to their advantage. She remained vigilant in Asato completing his homework while she finished her own projects.

During certain intervals, Asato asked her to inspect his work. After months of practice, Asato's calligraphy improved exponentially. Proud of him, Ruka nodded in approval, her brother worked hard and deserved the praise. She might spend some of their bundle of coins to buy him a sweet. Asato beamed, returning to his task with fervor.

Upon hearing her mother's footsteps, Ruka kept her eyes down onto her needlework. She kept Asato away from their mother's eye of sight. During certain intervals, their mother went into their small bedroom on purpose, wanting nothing more than to spat out ruthless words to her youngest child. Attempts of obscuring Asato from her wrath didn't work all the time.

Her heart clenched whenever Asato questioned why their mother hated him with such tenacity. At one point, Asato told her that he wished she was his mother. _Her._ His _older sister_ as his _mother_. She might as well take on the title of mother. Years of educating and raising Asato gave her the honor.

Once she heard her mother's usual bitter voice turn sultry, she gripped the needle tight in between her fingers. The voice of a stranger made her turn her gaze toward Asato, naive and focused on his homework, he ignored their surroundings. Breathing through her nose, she pondered their options.

Either stick around to hear their mother's duties or leave the home for an extended amount of time.

The decision became easier when she heard the man bartering his price. They had to get out of there fast.

"Asato." Ruka dared herself to speak out loud.

Asato lifted his head up, presenting ink blots on his cheeks, Ruka concealed her amusement well. "Yes?"

Ruka lifted herself from her spot on the floor, placing Asato's clothing on their interior clothesline. A new addition for her clothing projects to avoid the dirt from the floor. "How about we leave and eat at the ramen stand for dinner?"

Asato gasped. " _Really!_ We have the money?"

"Well...only if my favorite brother shows me his finished writing assignments..." Ruka trailed off, biting her tongue to keep herself from laughing at Asato when he scrambled to pick up his homework.

* * *

Asato burrowed his face into the crook of Ruka's neck. "Sleepy."

"I'm not surprised. You ate a good portion of my bowl Asato!" Ruka teased him, nuzzling her cheek against the side of his head. Despite his tired state, he clung to her tight. He did the same during the coldness of the night. "You're going to bathe in the morning. No excuses." Asato whined. "None of that, Asato. It's too late to boil water for your bath right now."

She hoped their mother finished her transaction in their departure in the town. Asato had no need to witness such things. She didn't have to see it, but she learned to curb Asato from catching their mother on the act. Unlike her.

"It's too cold in the morning." Asato pouted. "No…please."

Ruka poked his side, smiling at his failed attempts at arguing with her. "Yes, you'll be taking a bath while I prepare breakfast. I'll try to get eggs from the neighbor to make boiled eggs. How does that sound?"

Asato peeked up at her. "Can...I peel the...shell off?"

"Whatever you want."

"Hmmm...yay..." Asato burrowed his face into the crook of her neck, falling asleep moments later.

Amused, Ruka cradled him in one arm while using her free hand to run her fingers through his hair. To remain blissful and ignorant of the world. At times, she wished she returned back to her girlhood days. Back then, her dreams and illusions seemed possible to accomplish. Sighing, she pushed aside her dreams of dancing out of her mind.

An oncoming figure brought her focus back onto the trail. Raising her guard up, back straight, she strode on the right side of the trail. Clutching onto Asato's sleeping form, she prepared herself to out run this stranger. Despite her size, she ran real quick to escape any dangers.

Peeking from the corner of her eyes, she recognized the man as an old friend of her _father's_.

Utter shame and embarrassment filled her body. She wondered how many of her father's old friend came through her home and bought her mother's services. Having disregarded these men as faceless, she never thought about putting a name and a face to them. Easier to ignore the reality of their situation.

When he tipped his head to her in recognition, Ruka flinched. She bolted toward her home, wanting nothing more than to hide herself from the world. She heard the whispers of the people in town, the pitying glances, even those who predicted her journey into the same path. After all, children followed their parents example and teachings.

Frustrated, she wiped her watering eyes with her shoulder. There was no use in crying. Once she finished sobbing her heart out, nothing changed for the better. In order to claw her way out of this life, she had to put in hard work and perseverance. Values her own father taught her before his passing.

Walking through the threshold, she ignored her mother's presence in the main area of their small home. Her mother didn't acknowledge her as she counted her money. As coins were set onto the floor, the tapping echoed out loud.

She went inside of her room, setting Asato down into their futon. He remained asleep the whole way home.

* * *

A year after her father died, Asato arrived into the world.

As a naive child, she told her friends in excitement, eager to share the news to everyone. Many of the kids in the neighborhood had siblings, leaving her as one of the few without a little brother or sister. Her friends congratulated her, happy to have another baby to coo over soon.

The results from the adults varied from strained smiles to others shaking their heads. She overheard one calling her baby brother or sister a bastard. A word she never encountered behind the walls of Daichi Tsuzuki's home. When she asked her mother, she snapped at her to never mention the baby again.

Throughout the pregnancy, Ruka did the impossible to please her mother. Babies were cause for celebration after all. Nothing she did brought a smile to Kasumi Tsuzuki's face.

During this time, she didn't realize the extent of their decreasing funds. Her mother concealed their oncoming poverty from her ears while more and more of their possessions disappeared from their home. The excitement of this baby made it so she didn't catch onto the reality of their situation.

A scream in the middle of the night brought the beginning to end of the pregnancy. Ruka ran to the herbalist, waking her up from her slumber to inform her of the birth. The herbalist dressed up, grabbed a basket of herbs, and left the door. Throughout their jog, she informed Ruka about boiling water and any clean cloths.

Ruka spent the whole night awake. Listening to the herbalists orders and impatience in waiting, Ruka tried finding something to do in the meantime. She finished a spare blanket for the baby and a set of clothes.

The painful groans ended before the sun rose up in the sky.

Her mother ignored Asato mere moments after his birth. Rolling onto her side, she didn't cradle him to her bare chest as many mothers did on instinct. The herbalist waved it off as tiredness from the birthing process. She handed the squirming newborn into her arms and left to collect herbs to boil for her mother. Old remedies used to bring strength back after a harsh ordeal.

Ruka shivered at the thought of childbirth. Painful screaming and copious amounts of blood. At her current age, many girls shared painful stories of their mothers home births. Scaring her to her wits end. She wasn't ready to experience such an event.

Diligent in taking care of her new brother, Ruka scrambled around, remembering her friend's advice about taking care of babies. She cleaned him off and wrapped him in one of her smaller yukatas. She giggled at the sight of her brother, almost swallowed whole in the fabric. Carrying him toward the kitchen area, she sat down on a thin pile of clothes. Cradling him in her arms, he slept well as she stared out at the sunset through the window. Saying goodbye to the herbalist, she remained on the same spot.

Sometime in the afternoon, the baby woke up, his cries broke the calmness of the afternoon. Assuming hunger, she got on her feet and went to her mother's room. She noted her slumped form against the wall. For the first time in months, her mother seemed somewhat happy. The pregnancy ended after all. Stepping inside, her mother turned to her, eyes went wide and scandalous.

Kasumi Tsuzuki laid eyes on the squalling newborn and snapped at her to get rid of him. Shocked at the harsh words, she pleaded for her mother to feed him, anything to calm her brother down. Her mother threw a cup at her, missing her as it crashed against the wall. This prompted another bout of screaming from her brother.

She left home and tried to get help from a neighbor who gave birth. The neighbor assumed that her mother lacked milk production and nursed her brother. Trying to make conversation, the woman asked about his name. Wracking her head for a name, Ruka sputtered out the name Asato. Her grandfather's name.

When she returned home, her mother demanded her to abandon Asato at a temple. Anything to get rid of him. Remaining firm, Ruka informed her mother of his name. Asato Tsuzuki. Her mother rejected the mere thought of Asato carrying on Daichi Tsuzuki's last name. After all, Asato carried _none_ of Daichi Tsuzuki's blood.

Ruka cradled the newborn in her arms. "Daddy would give Asato his last name. He was generous and kind-"

Kasumi sneered. "Don't be stupid. Not even your father would house a _bastard_."

When Ruka volunteered to take care of Asato, her mother left his upbringing to her. Every inch of Kasumi Tsuzuki, from her voice to her body language, _abhorred_ Asato. Interactions between them came from breastfeeding him. Even this bonding moment didn't stir any feelings in her as she shoved him into her arms once he finished.

When Asato turned one, her mother moved them out of their home. Selling their furniture and unnecessary possessions, they moved into a shack in the outskirts of town. Months later, she walked into her mother in bed with another man.

* * *

The sounds of slapping skin and groans woke Ruka up from her sleep. Mutterings of pleasure filtered through the morning, breaking the serenity of sunrise. Once she realized the location of the sounds, the visualization made her blush. Having caught her mother on multiple occasions, she knew what she did with the men coming through their home. Taking care of limiting any noise on her end, she lifted herself with one arm. Asato slept on, unaware of the extra company.

Yawning, Ruka pondered on breakfast. Sometimes, Asato asked for food far beyond their budget. Trying her hardest to placate him, she prepared these foods on special occasions. Birthdays and accomplishments. Something to urge Asato to try his best. This planted the seed in Asato's mind not to badger her so much, but it lasted for only so long before he began again.

Asato whimpered in his sleep, Ruka hummed a lullaby to lull him back to sleep. "I can't believe this." She whispered under her breath.

The consistent grunting stopped and whispering began. The sound of a bundle of coins fell onto the floor. Ruka kept her back to the door, not wanting to see the man leaving their home. Using her ears, she heard heavy footsteps leaving her mother's room and out the door.

Ruka got up from her futon and went into the kitchen area. Preparing breakfast, she ran throughout the kitchen and picked vegetables for their soup. A soup which almost lasted all day. Becoming a side dish at the end of the day. As she poured in water and herbs, she added vegetables which lasted longer to cook and stirred.

While she checked their small pantry for rice, she heard someone shuffling into the room. Looking over her shoulder, she saw her mother wandering out of her room. The woman walked past her and went into the small nook on the floor which hid her sake. Once she got it, her mother swigged it back and gulped down her vice.

"Did you have to do your business in the morning?" Ruka turned toward her mother, ignoring the rumpled state of her yukata and wayward curls. "Consider yourself lucky that Asato sleeps deeply enough where no noise wakes him up. "

"Ashamed of me are you? I'm bringing in money, you foolish girl!"

Ruka put her hands up in surrender, finding no use in arguing with her mother. "Mother, please, Asato is still sleeping-"

"I don't give a damn!" Kasumi elevated the volume of her voice. "The little bastard has done nothing but bring darkness in our lives. Why didn't you abandon him to the temple like I told you to?"

Ruka pushed her shoulders back and stated. "Because he's _my brother_." She stared deep in her mother's cold brown eyes. "You know what happens to children left to fend on their own. I left school on my own accord because you left him wander the streets without supervision!"

Kasumi gritted her teeth. "You brought all this on yourself for taking on the role of a mother."

"You left me _no_ choice."

* * *

Ruka used her ever growing vegetable garden to sell produce in the marketplace. Using seeds given to her by neighbors, she cultivated a substantial crop during the proper seasons. This process gave her a small income and food to eat. The work roughened her hands, but she stopped caring once hunger came into play. Her mother saw it as a waste of time, a way to ruin her looks before _use_. Ruka persevered to keep her garden from wasting away.

She shared rental space with a old man who sold rice and wheat. During their free time, his adult children relieved their father and helped with the stand. Whenever her crop grew massive, they helped bring bundles to the marketplace in exchange for certain vegetables. This became a habit between them and continued on without fail.

Hiroki Haruno scooped her under his wing and advised her on how to handle her small business. His intimidating presence helped to ward off those who dared to intimidate the seventeen year old girl into lowering her prices. She worked hard for her inventory. He even sold her a old cart for her to transfer her crops whenever his children had no time to help.

The Haruno family and Ruka Tsuzuki developed a stable bond of camaraderie.

Standing behind her stand, Ruka received payment for a basket full of sweet potatoes. The woman who bought them nodded in approval when she inspected them. These instances developed a flutter of pride in Ruka's chest at hearing the praise. She spent years of failed attempts to develop a reputation as a vegetable vendor. It felt amazing to hear validation.

Throughout the day, she handled different customers, handling large bundles of vegetables. Her supply dwindled down before the sun descended. She always kept a supply of vegetables back home. Asato picked those for her whenever she started dinner and washed them on his own.

Slumping onto the hard ground, Ruka rubbed her face. She earned herself a decent amount of money for herself. Trying to save money for little luxuries made this hard work worth it.

Hiroki poured a cup of water and set it in front of Ruka. "Drink before you keel over from exhaustion."

"Thank you, Haruno-san." Ruka sipped the fresh clear water to quench her thirst. In the last hurdle, a sudden influx of people kept her from taking a small break.

"How's the boy?"

Ruka smiled light. "He's doing well. At the moment, Asato is learning how to read and write. He hates his lessons, but it seems a waste not to teach him. I learned how to read and write at his age. Father advocated education."

"Good, good." Hiroki grunted as he tapped his lower back with his fist. "Can't have illiteracy around these parts, gives people an advantage over the ignorant. Happened to my cousin, the poor sap lost his business over not being able to read."

Ruka winced. "Ah, is he doing well now?"

"Moved back to our hometown and works as a street vendor last I heard. Not sure. His wife whipped him into shape according to her letters." Hiroki peered down at her. "Any troubles with the land?"

Ruka shook her head. "Not at all. Your advice on changing the way I handle the soil has made my vegetables grow faster. Asato is helping me tend to the smaller areas I cannot step into." Hiroki arched a brow. "I wanted to keep him busy. He loves working with the earth."

Impressed at her forethought, Hiroki nodded his head. "Best to keep Asato's hands busy, kids tend to wander into trouble. Learning different life skills will help him in the long run."

Ruka gulped down the last bit of water, thoughts circling around Asato's future, she wished he overcame their current status in life.

* * *

Wiping the sweat from her brow, Ruka fanned her face to cool off. The sack of rice seemed heavier and her feet dragged along. "Ugh...I hate the heat. Don't you agree, Asato?" Asato whined in agreement. "Let's hope the house is cool enough to combat this weather.

The summer heat rolled over their city, making the majority of their town suffer the effects. Ruka made great strides to keep herself from venturing outside, but trading vegetables for provisions of rice prompted a visit out of their home. The Haruno family lived close enough where the walk seemed short enough, but the heat made the trip longer than usual.

Asato trailed along beside her, clutching on the sleeve of her yukata. He tagged along because he didn't want to stay with their mother. The moment Asato saw her walk out the door, he ran out and stuck to her side the whole time. Ruka didn't mean to have Asato believe that she left him behind. She wanted to catch up to Haruno-san before he left his home on errands.

Noticing that Asato slowed down, Ruka crouched down and picked him up. Her muscle strength developed through each stage of Asato's life. The heavier he got, the more effort it took for her to carry him in her arms. Without the convenience of a horse drawn carriage, their mode of transportation came through walking. The poor child tired himself out quicker than herself. The addition of a rice sack made her groan from the strain.

Time passed before she saw the back of her home on the horizon. Sighing in relief, she trudged herself up the small incline and set Asato down onto his feet. Asato scrambled to rush on ahead, eager to nap for the afternoon. He made sure not to stray too far away from her.

Ruka went past Asato, making sure that their mother saw her first. Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw a carriage a good distance from their home. As she was about to turn the corner, she saw her father's old business partner, Nagato Yoshida, Ruka readied herself to greet him, but stopped around the corner from the front of their home.

Yoshida inquired. "You _are_ using the money on the boy, right?"

Kasumi roll her eyes, jiggling the coin purse in her hand. "Don't try to act like you care for his well being. The least you could have done was give compensation for impregnating me, Nagato."

Yoshida breathed through his nose. "I'll return when I'm able to do so."

Putting a finger to her lips, Asato remained quiet as Ruka pressed their bodies against the wall. Yoshida walked toward the direction of his carriage, sparring no glance toward their mother.

Ruka slipped down onto the grass. Clutching the rice bag in her arms, her mind whirring at the speculations of Yoshida's claim. This meant, Asato's father was-

Asato whispered. "Ruka? Who was he?"

Ruka used a safe answer. "An old friend of father's."

"Oh." Asato sucked his thumb. One of the few habits Ruka tried getting rid of and still no luck came from her tricks. The pepper trick seemed extreme for her tastes. "Why was he giving _her_ money."

It didn't escape Ruka's notice that Asato addressed their mother as _her_. "I'm sure he's helping us for old times sake."

"Oh okay."

Ruka collected herself before she got up on her feet. "Now, let's go inside. We have to begin your writing lessons before you take nap."

Tired from the heat, Asato pouted.

* * *

Years passed on, Ruka grew into a beautiful young woman, capable of surviving and raising _her son_ on her own. He sprout up, growing taller and stronger as the days passed. One of their hurdles came when Asato became a target for bullying and Ruka heard the whispers of the townspeople regarding her. Their mother's occupation came to bite them in the worst way possible.

People assumed that Ruka would follow in her mother's footsteps while young boys jeered at Asato for having a prostitute for a mother. The words cut them deep, but through ignoring them in the best manner possible, Asato and Ruka worked to the bone to develop their produce business.

Feeling somewhat paranoid, they kept an extra eye on the garden. There was always one person around the area while the other left for town. To their surprise, there were few attempts to sabotage their source of income. Many of these people still bought from them regardless of their opinions over them. The risk of losing a stable proprietor of delicious veggies stomped their gossiping.

Another issue came through with the men who asked Ruka for her hand. Throughout her blossoming years, she grew used to having someone propose to her. She rejected them in a gentle manner of course. Asato needed her above any man. Once she expressed her responsibilities, none of them understood her persistence in raising her own brother. She knew they would insist on leaving him behind in favor of raising their _own_ children.

This didn't set well with her.

Knowing her mother's feelings about her son, she would soon kick Asato on the streets before keeping him in _her_ _home_. Ruka promised to raise Asato to the best of her abilities. Besides, motherhood didn't stop after the child grew up.

Many of her old acquaintances married at a young age, bore children, and maintained a home. The usual trail of a woman's life. She was one of the few young ladies who _chose_ to stay single. This added another layer to the gossip circles. Many questioned her personality and lack of desire for a husband. After all, all women wanted a family of their own.

She brushed their comments aside with a smile.

One of the many lessons Asato learned and implemented in his life.

* * *

Thanking the herbalist, Ruka walked her out the door. Running her fingers through her hair, she let out an exhausted sigh. She never realized that the sores developing on their mother's skin came from a transmitted disease. An ailment that popped up through her occupation.

At first, her mother denied her sickness, keeping herself ignorant of her impending doom. She continued on accepting clients. Until, one of her customers saw a collection of sores and bolted from the area. This made her mother scream obscenities for a good portion of the afternoon.

Wandering toward the garden, she saw Asato crouched in between rows of growing potatoes. In their growing stage, they piled the soil up to the stems. Random weeds still sprouted in certain areas as evident from the pile of weeds collected on the ground. Asato didn't seem tired from her observation as he continued on working.

Ruka gulped before she inquired. "Asato, do you have a moment?"

"Yes." Asato curled his fingers around the weeds he wanted to yank out. "Is everything alright?"

Ruka informed him. "Mother is sick."

Asato clutched the bundle of weeds. Turning to Ruka, he stated in a tired fashion. "She's going to die soon?"

"Yes." Ruka knelt beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "The herbalist said as much. She won't make it past this season."

Asato's lips twitched in a smile. "Is it bad that I'm happy she's going to be gone?" He retracted in fear of Ruka's reaction. "N-Never mind, it's just-"

Understanding his plight, Ruka shook her head, not at all surprised. "No, it's alright. I get it. Mother has never shown any kindness to you. It's okay to not feel anything toward her. In the end of the day, she is our mother. She bore us after all." She applied pressure on his shoulder.

Asato ripped the weeds out, throwing them to the side. He looked down and mumbled something intelligible, making Ruka strain her ear to hear him.

"Yes?"

Asato put his dirtied hand on Ruka's, giving her a squeeze. "You're my mother, not _her_."

Ruka worried her lower lip, not seeing the use in correcting him. "Then, you may call me mother in private."

* * *

Ruka shed some tears during her mother's cremation, Asato remained stone faced. He clung to her side, ignoring the condolences given to them through the few neighbors who attended. The neighbors assumed Asato tried hard to grow up and present a tough front. Boys didn't cry after all.

Ruka knew better. Asato didn't feel _anything_ for their mother in the end.

Asato stuck throughout the funeral processions. Keeping his words cordial, he nodded to the few who knew their mother before her decline in status. Their awkward condolences did nothing to sway his feelings from the bitterness he felt over that woman.

Ruka tried hiding true reason of their mother's death from Asato. Nasty business. The disease ravaged her body into a husk of her former self, leaving her unable to continue her work. A relief for them when they woke up to no grunting in the mornings. Instead, congested coughing replaced the sounds of sex.

In the end, she told him the truth to spare him the whispers of the neighbors. He shrugged his shoulders and went on his business. Ruka swore she saw sadness in his eyes during their mother's last days. She kept her observations to herself to spare any conflict between them.

Asato narrowed his eyes at the well dressed man coming toward them. Remembering him as Yoshida, he removed his hand from Ruka's shoulder, and moved in front of her, blocking the man from coming any further. Ruka placed her hands on his arms, kneading them to calm him down.

Yoshida stopped in front of them and bowed. "My condolences, Ruka-san, Asato-san."

Ruka tipped her head down. "Yoshida-san. Thank you for stopping by."

The man held a coin purse in his hand, readying himself to give it to her. "This is to help cover the expenses of the funeral. There is money left over for you two to live comfortably for the time being."

Ruka put out her hand and he set down the purse. "Thank you."

The awkwardness failed to disperse between them after Yoshida revealed his parentage to Asato. Asato's lack of a reaction stunned the man. Almost as if he expected the young man to burst into furious crying. Ruka escaped Asato's anger due to genuinely not knowing his parentage until she connected the dots in his childhood. She kept it from him until she decided he was old enough to know. Yoshida beat her to it.

Yoshida made it a point not to push Asato into calling him father or any variation of the word. Their connection came in their blood and nothing else. Although, Asato kept a somewhat cordial relationship with the man later on in life.

Asato coughed into one hand and used the other to shake Yoshida's hand. Despite his usual cheery disposition, the idea of thinking of seeing another man as his father made him feel odd. "Thank you."

Yoshida's wry smile matched Asato's smile, he even had the same one dimple on his cheek. "Anything to help. I'll return some other time. Excuse me. Ruka-san, Asato-san."

Yoshida helped them with their finances until suffering a heart attack at the age of fifty.

* * *

A week after the cremation, Ruka and Asato packed their belongings in order to move into another home. A fresh start to bury their past. Haruno's friend sold them the place for a cheaper price with few alterations that needed fixing. Ruka mourned the loss of her first vegetable garden, but Asato harvested their last bundle and sold it for her while she prepared their home to become inhabitable.

They wasted no time in preparing the soil in the front of their home for a new garden. From the location of the sun, the area seemed perfect for maximum sun exposure. The river was even closer than in their last garden. Ruka and Asato worked their hands non-stop to plant the seeds and separate them in sections.

Ruka heard from a different farmer that certain vegetables stifled the growth of others. This added into their thinking process in where to place certain vegetables and spent extra time in making it work.

Their day finished with dirty clothes and satisfied hearts.

Watching the sun set over the horizon, Ruka pressed her cheek against Asato's shoulder, exhausted from the work on the field. The smell of attended soil and fresh brewed tea clogged her senses. She enjoyed these afternoons when they decompressed from their hard work.

For the first time in their lives, they believed their words when they addressed their place as home.


End file.
